A Word to All Those Without Children (including me!)

18 Jun


 This morning I was driving to work, and I was listening to my usual radio show. They started talking about whether or not single people with no children should get so annoyed when their friends with children start talking about their children all the time.


I started laughing to myself in the car alone, because I am guilty of this…and I don’t even have children yet. Yes, I’m expecting, but I just “borrow” the children that I nanny for. However, they are probably the thing in my life that I talk about most when I consider my daily conversations. The other thing I just can’t seem to get myself to stop talking about is CrossFit (this is another story about how I annoy people daily), but I’m telling you, I have probably annoyed the living heck out of some people by talking about my work monkeys.


But, what do you expect? I spend 26 hours a week with them, and I used to spend 50 hours a week with them. My life was filled with diapers, first words, food in funny places, and hilarious encounters of children saying things to random people in public that I then had to explain away. Every day, each and every one of those 4 children does something so funny or cute that I just can’t help telling someone.


When I finish my late evenings at work (two days a week until 8:30pm), I get in my car, and I call my mom to tell her about my day. I can’t believe she even picks up the phone anymore at this point. She is getting serious mom points here!


But this raises a question: should I expect my friends without children (which is all of them) to listen to my endless stories about how a child sneezed into my mouth not once but three times the day before, or how one of the little guys somehow managed to hit me in the cheek with his penis while I was changing his brother? You laugh (or gasp in disgust if you are one of my friends without children or not a nanny), but those kinds of things happen often.


My answer is no. I should be able to find something else in my life to talk about, but I am clearly doomed when I have my own baby around Christmas. If you thought I was bad now, imagine how I will be when I have FIVE children to talk about!


I have other amazing things in my life: fun friends, a very involved and loving family of my own, two great jobs…the list goes on. SO, on the flipside, all those with children would certainly benefit by having some adult conversation about things like: clothes, politics, books, their favorite TV show, etc! I will consider this a challenge to myself. And I know my friends and family will be grateful! 




The other part of the conversation this morning on the radio was how much you change when you become a parent. Prior to becoming a parent, we were all guilty of being extremely annoyed by a crying child on a plane, a loud child in a restaurant, or even the mere presence of a child in public at any time.


Thankfully, I’m proud to say I have never been one of those people, but that is only because I have been a nanny for a large portion of my life. The point was that once people become parents, their thoughts switch from being, “please keep your kid quiet on the dang plane” while simultaneously thinking they need to better “train” their child or that those parents are terrible parents, to “oh, those poor parents! I bet the baby has ear issues.”


We need to be defending the parents here. Is the child laughing about clanging the fork on the table really bothering you that much? Instead of being bothered by it, maybe stop for a minute and enjoy how cute it is that the child is actually that entertained by a fork. I certainly wish I could find that much joy out of some silverware.


Recently, a survey said that 9 out of 10 men want to be dads one day and that 7 out of 10 women want to be mothers, so the odds are in your favor that you will one day be one of those parents with the “noisy” child in the restaurant. Your child will most certainly throw a fit about getting some Fruit Loops in the grocery store. Your child will probably throw up somewhere nice. I even threw up on my dad’s head once in the mall. These things are inevitable, and we all need to practice a little more patience. And when you have multiple children, they may all gang up on you so loud that you have to raise your voice just to be heard….in the dentist’s office.


The world has a tendency to come full circle, and one day, I’m sure you will be thankful for the person that offers to help you carry one of the 3 car seats you are hauling onto an airplane after no sleep because your child coughed all night in the hotel room. I nearly cried with happiness when someone offered to help me. 


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